Its hot here, way so very hot..
My central air is not wrking and the landlord is .. well lets not say mean words now, I will just think them, but you know what I mean. Anyway she won't get it fixed, and here I thought that it was the landlords responsibility to fix these things, becasue in the province I live in, if you are a renter, companys will not come fix anything without the landlords permission, she won't give it and they won't come.. Possibly dosen't help that she is drunk all the time either!.. GRRRRRR.
Been almost a year since my ex and I split.. do I miss her, yeppers, I miss her so much.. do we talk.. sometimes, but its ntohing like it was. She has her best friend, whom I am not fond of, but I never went and told her she shouldn't talk to her or hang out with her or anything of the sort.. thats not the kinda person I am and I would nto do that.. But the best friend does that and it got to much to hear all the time, that her best friend didn't like me, jealouse?.. possibly, she will not say it was so, but everyone knew it, because the best friend liked to control her and still does, but had a hard time doing that with me around..
I say if she wants or needs me for anyting then I am here, I have never left and I have never given up on her.. I shall always be here.. I love her, and that will never change even if we will never be togeather again. And we won't be togeather again.
I have lots in my head, things that I can not get out and things that I can not talk to anyone about.. Things that i have tried to talk about before and i get looked at like I'm an idiot, so I tend to just let it all go.. Its been so long that I have been spanked, that I am sure I forget what one is like.. Oh theres been one spanker, sort of.. I'll call him 'khaine'.. he is amazing, love him more than I've ever love anyone before, or will ever. Has he spanked me?.. sure playful spanks.. I think he may be scared of hurting me, not saying the playful is bad, 'cause hello!, so not! *ahem..blushes*. But I am saying I wish he would sooooooooo just spank non-playfully sometime, it sure would help and since I feel comfortable with him and trust him more than anyone else ever.. it would be a good thing for him to spank me non-playfully.
Do I feel comfortalbe writing this here?.. I am not sure yet, I mean its not like anyone actually follows this blog, atleast no one shows on my blog as following, and only one person had ever comment on anything I've written.. I suppose ti can not hurt, I suppose I dont' really care if anyone reads this.. I needed to put it down and so I did it here, just means that its something, a little something that is NOT floating around in my head anymore and THAT is a good thing.
-Kitten
(whos spellign sucks bad, i'm sorry)
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